I wondered how long it would take me to write something extremely personal. I guess tonight is as good as any. Come be fast and mind my business. Oh but this is probably not something for people who are prudish in any way.
So I have heard many different stories about me over the years but here is one that has never been told. It is one of how a selfish ex-whatever did not know how to love me. In the spirit of full disclosure, I should say that I am a crazy person. I enjoy controlling everything and everyone around my ex refused to be the kind of man I am used to.
There are some men who leave you without an explanation and then there are the guys who want to be all sappy and shit, the sappy ones are the worst! This guy told me that he loved me multiple times during our trip to Spain. He bought me flowers -something that almost never happens in my life- and he made love to me. Now ladies there is a vast difference between making love and having sex. If you're 22 and you're not about that married with children life, I suggest you keep having (protected) sex because the love thing is a mess. ANYWAY back to the story.
Flowers from my ...whatever days before the end. |
In the end I told him that I was not ready for a relationship in that moment but I hoped to eventually move in that direction. When he said that the thought of a relationship made him nervous I did not get upset because let's be honest people be havin' issues, can't be mad at da. What I can be angry about is the deception. I can be pissed about him knowing that I was in love and still choosing to play with my heart. I can be angry about his selfish ways but I am pissed. I am livid because I knew better! I have rules that I completely disregarded for him. I compromised on my beliefs and alienated myself because of him. So this is really the price you pay for being Foolish.
XOXO,
IslandGyal
P.S. Y'all really thought I would spill all my tea on the internet? Not I said the duck! When I do decide to share my complete story like 'Why I am Cool With my High School Sweetheart' there will be names and receipts. Laters!!!
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