I hate the Fruit

Sometimes I talk about issues with poetry. Enjoy this!

The garden was beautiful when there were no snakes. I'm afraid of snakes.

Snakes introduce you to fruit.
We walk to the tree and we look.
Strange fruit indeed and am I to love this?
Give me knowledge?
Show me good and evil?
I only see evil and pain.
The images now etched in my brain.

Food, exercise, so hungry...
I love chocolate, everyone does.
But chocolate is bad, all the carbs you know.
Small waist, small backside no need for more.
Chocolate makes your brain slow
Chocolate leaves nasty stains
And pimples cause pains

Magnolia trees are strong
Magnificent trunks, pop it quick.
Gorgeous white flower why are you here.
Are you ok ma'am? BE STILL BOY!
Pretty flower has fallen in the mud.
Hide flower, lie, hide your shame.
Dirt is nothing, dust in chains.

Curves, cotton hair, thick lips.
Suck, mock, fuck.
Love is light, who loves the night?
What happens in dark but sin?
Legs open, promise nothing, run home at dawn.
Look at the beauty the light and night have created.
Mixing, sin, light and darkness cannot dwell together.

We're too pretty for this!

I am often confronted by my dark skin. Every time I go to the drugstore on the hunt for makeup products I am met with a new version of 66 Shades of Beige. The frustrating part of this is that I know that brands like L'Oréal and Maybelline actually make my shade in most of their foundation lines. Yet store like Kruidvat and Etos disappoint me without fail. In the Netherlands black women have to spend more money on their makeup because regular stores pretend as if we do not exist. Constantly being referred to department store brands is particularly upsetting because most students do not have Black Up, MAC and Lancome money. This raises an important question. Why do black people have to pay more to look and feel beautiful?

I do not want to sound like a conspiracy theorist but there must be a reason that stores do not answer my emails or questions when I inquire about their shade range. Tokos are stores that sell products from foreign countries and they charge for that service as exclusivity is usually synonymous with expensive. Women of color, especially black women pay more simply because they have no choice. If you work in an environment that pressures you to wear makeup you immediately have to pay more than your white counterparts and while this may seem like a small thing consider the fact that the odds are already stacked against young black women. Does an up and coming stewardess who already had to take a maximum student loan need this extra bill? Probably not. If you are wondering why the black girl took the maximum student loan it is because she did not have the chance to live with her parents since she left them back in the Caribbean where she could not go to college because her island only has 4000 people. Still think that the system isn't working against colored women? Read on.

Products for oily skin are hard to find and guess which ethnicity generally has oily skin? You guessed it! All the rich, deeper skintones. There is something to be said about systematic racism and that is a completely different subject but it cannot be a coincidence. One might say that there is no market for drugstore makeup because black girls in the Netherlands only shop at Douglas and ICI Paris XXL (Dutch versions of Ulta/Sephora). The reason for that has nothing to do with our preferences and everything to do with drugstores refusing to carry our shades. Now as a makeup lover I am aware of the problem that my paler friends have because brands also forget about them when making foundations and stores definitely do not order for them. IT SUCKS! However I think it wrong of us to point fingers towards our paper white ladies when an entire race is left out. Any shade of brown is not welcome. That is the message stores like Kruidvat send and I am grateful that online stores like The Makeup Spot and Boozy Shop exist. I just wish they weren't just online so that we could go and swatch before we buy. The makeup industry is rigged against black women and in the Netherlands it is horrible!

Here are the facts. Brands like L'Oréal and Maybelline do not make sure that their entire shade range is available to countries they sell to. I have emailed time and again to no avail. So I am writing a blog now in hopes that someone will listen and that they will care. Brands need to be here for us, every shade or us. Whether you are as pale as NikkieTutorials or as dark as Nikki Perkins we all deserve better. We are too pretty for this shit!

XOXO,

IslandGyal

P.S. In case you are wondering what I am wearing on my skin here is a very long list.

• Brows: NYX Micro Brow in Espresso
• Eyes: Maybelline Great Lash mascara and L'Oreal kohl liner.
• Concealers: NYX HD concealer in Nutmeg, LA Girl Pro Conceal in Orange and Fawn
• Foundation: Black Opal True Color Pore Perfecting liquid foundation in Hazelnut
• Contour: Sleek Contour palette in Dark
• Highlighter: MAC Gold Deposit, Gold from Sleek contour palette in Dark
• Lips: MAC liner Chestnut and Milani Metallic Automatic Touch

He's White and I'm...ME!

I had a really nice, mushy feelings post about my interracial relationship but I realized that my feelings towards my man have nothing to do with our ethnicities and cultures because that part of our relationship is actually the sucky bit. Leh we talk bout da.

I have had girls point out black men to me even after I've told them that I have absolutely no interest in the blessed chocolate heaven that is the black man. They are beautiful creatures but I just do not wish to be in relationships with them. I like blue eyes, as an island gyal they take me home to the Caribbean and all I think about is diving into the ocean. Yes, blue eyes are that deep for me and I hate that my boyfriend was blessed with them instead of me. Then again God knows that I would probably spend all my time looking into my eyes if He had blessed me. I have also endured the speech of how interracial relationships are a plot to erase the black race. The speeches about me hating myself and my people are the worst. From the black side I live through the questions about the penis size, hygiene and food. Let me address those three quickly no they don't all have small penises, yes they shower as often as you would like them to and I am a better cook than my boyfriend but aren't you better than your too?

The white side is worst, always has but I hope it changes soon. "Wow a black girl, I've never had a black girl." While our skin is chocolate and we look delectable we are not dishes for you to try. Black people are not exotic, people are not countries or places. The questions about my hair, family life, religious convictions and education are all connected to race instead them simply being questions. Then we have the people who just think it is wrong for a Dutch guy to be mixed with a "negerin" (female nigger). Did I leave out the need to make sure that I do not need a passport because you know some of them are only after one thing.

In March my boyfriend and I went to the "mall" in hometown and he remarked that everyone was staring at me. I was probably the only black person there that afternoon and definitely the only one walking hand in hand with a white man. Thankfully we live in Rotterdam where interracial relationships are pretty normal. We don't get outright stares, what we do get are the curious looks. The looks that make me want to scream.

I want to scream because I know that I live in a world that is horrible. One that does not care about my skin or my race for the most part. I live in a country that pretends to be tolerant while discriminating against biracial children. I live in a world in which I have to pray and beg God that my future children look nothing like me and everything like their dad simply because their lives would be better white.  I want to live in a society that will accept that a white man can love a black woman because of who she is and love her even more because she can dance to soca music. The interesting part of all of this is while these awful things happen when I am with my boyfriend we are in a type of bubble. I see the people and I think about how insignificant they are to our happiness. Maybe we balance out each other, I give him street cred and I am not immediately labeled the thief when alarm goes off in a store. Whatever it is does not matter.

I am a black woman with dark skin, brown eyes and relaxed hair. I love a man that makes me laugh, who cares for me in ways I did not know possible. A man who thinks the way I pronounce the word 'day' is the cutest thing and who stays up and argues with me until 3am. He is pale-skinned, blond-haired and has the most beautiful blue eyes. I love the person who love me. Ok world?

XOXO,

IslandGyal

Revealing More Racism with Shea Moisture

If you have not heard about the Shea Moisture controversy you have been living under a rock and you should click here before continuing. Caught up? Ok, let us begin.

The backlash Shea Moisture received from this ad has been great and I want to share my initial reaction. "Umm... so where the black people? This halfie ain guh 4c hair. Show me da den ah gon know dis can wuk for errybody." My problem was not with the caucasian women rather it was with the lack of unambiguously black women. This has not been the case with many members of the black community and that is why we are here today class. We must address the fact that black people have an insane need to own things and have them be black. I wonder how that is different from white people in the Netherlands thinking that they own Hillegersberg and Wassenaar (wealthy neighborhoods in Rotterdam and The Hague).

I read a blog post that shocked me. An educated black woman writes that white women are trying to infiltrate our (black people) culture, hair being a major part of it. Yes cultural appropriation is a real thing and I will thus never buy another Marc Jacobs product. (See Jackie Aina's video on his sins here. If you want to find alternatives, she's got you too.) However, Shea Moisture is not promoting any type of cultural appropriation. They are a brand that wants to expand because there are not enough black people in America to make this brand as successful as Garnier, Pantene and Suave. This is where the problem lies because we want it to be ours. We have this slave mentality that tells us that ownership is power.



My well-loved relaxed hair.

Shea Moisture was created for black people by black people but we have never addressed the fact that the brand only truly caters to naturalistas and not to people who have chosen to relax their hair. The Natural Hair Movement has long morphed into a shaming party. Many bloggers and influencers never come out and say "relaxed hair is means that you don't love skin, hair and ultimately yourself" but when they talk about how much their natural hair is synonymous with self-love what does that say? "I love my body so I stopped putting all those chemicals in my system." Really now? So I don't love mine?

The problem with our hair love is ours. Black women not liking themselves because they are dark is OUR problem. I am aware of implicit bias but that is another problem and not necessarily our own though it affects us. We need to start teaching girls that they are beautiful and that their hair does not define them. We pretend as if this Natural Hair Movement is about hair care when we know that it is not. It is about ethnicity and I am far too comfortable in my chocolatey goodness to give a damn about my hair. If anyone is wondering I have 4c/4z hair and with a full head of hair caring for it is a three person job. I love my relaxed hair and my natural hair was beautiful and still represents a beautiful part of my life, childhood.

This controversy has revealed something very interesting about the black community: privilege is not welcome. "You are white and do not have true struggles with your hair or even makeup because any conditioner will do for you and your foundation shade is in every drugstore so bye." We dismiss them because of their skin color and if that is not racism I do not know what is. Shea Moisture is becoming more inclusive because of business but we need to include white people to survive. Having them care about our brands gives us a platform and broad audience. We want white people to see more fros and if they want to try it? Why should we care? You see I do not seek to normalize dreads or bantu knots on them. I want the world to see it all as normal and not a specifically black thing because hair belongs to us all. Shea Moisture understands something the black community does not. They do not want to simply own the industry and start conversations within it. They want to control it because control is power.

XOXO,

IslandGyal


Makeup Monday!

You must know that it was only a matter of time before I started talking shop! Yuh comin or wa?

So makeup is unequivocally one of my favorite things in the world and I have finally decided to write some reviews on some awesome products. Today I want to talk about an oldie but goodie and that is none other than the MAC Mineralize Skin Finish in Gold Deposit. This summer has been all about the glow and I have found myself constantly reaching for this highlighter. It is one that flatters my chocolate skin in the best way. It is also long lasting and never breaks up or starts looking patchy. Just watch the video below and enjoy the glow.



Another talking point is definitely the lipstick in this pic. Miliani has done it again and has released eight limited edition metallic lip crèmes. My favorite for the summer is 07 Automatic Touch. Let's just take a minute to understand that this liquid lipstick is EVERYTHANG! I am not very comfortable with extremely bright colors and this is the perfect berry making it summer and fall appropriate though you should do whatever you want!

So for this look I paired up with MAC's Rebel which we all know is the perfect berry toned lippie. I off course lined my lips and since I could not find my MAC liner in Currant I went for my trusty Chestnut. I then topped it off with Milani's Automatic Touch in mostly the center of the lip. The metallic really brightened the lips and created more dimension.

 

On the subject of the lasting power of these products together...they are amazing! They lasted an entire day and I had BBQ food. I find all liquid lipsticks to be somewhat drying so I wore my EOS Mint lipbalm underneath it all and I felt great. Below you can find the entire look in natural light and of course SnapChat shows you everything. All in all I totally loved this look and will be doing it again with the addition of lashes.

All of that glow! #slay

 

XOXO,

IslandGyal

 

 

 

Killing the Magic

There is no way for me to begin this. I hit the backspace button so many times on these few words that I am shocked that we have arrived to the end of the second sentence. I think the first steps are always the hardest ones. #BlackLivesMatter Let's just do this!

I am a 23 year old living in one of the best cities in the Netherlands: Rotterdam. I am also a woman and I am black. Many people may not understand the gravity of what they've just read but to be all those things make me one of the least privileged people in the world and unfortunately I am one of many. According to Buzzfeed's privilege test I scored 33 out of 100 meaning that I am not privileged at all. I grew up on an island and I think that sheltered me from getting an even lower score on the test. I would love to begin this by saying that there has never been a time that I have been more or even that there has never been a time that I have been less but I cannot. You see not much has actually changed for my demographic and that is why I am writing.

In the wake of last week's shootings many have come out on social media criticizing the #BlackLivesMatter movement calling it the new KKK. A movement for equality and really the right to live and not be harassed is being called a terrorist group! For years black people have been told that they are free but we have always had conditional freedom. You can get angry but you are not allowed to do so in public because you should not come across as aggressive. I could tell you that slavery was an American problem and that the civil rights movement was theirs as well. I could point out that no black people are being shot by cops in the Netherlands or the Caribbean and I would not be a complete liar. That is probably the reason why most people outside the USA are unconcerned but let me be clear on one thing. If you are black you are at risk.

A sprinter born on the island of Curacao runs for the Dutch national team and he is very good. Churandy Martina actually won the European 200M championship this year but was disqualified because his foot was on the line. One would think that our country would feel sad about the fact that the gold was taken away but happy that he is so fast that he could win in the Olympics. That was not the case! When winning Churandy was referred to as the Dutch runner but when he lost he was suddenly the islander. That is the Netherlands I live in! Statian young men and women live in cities like Rotterdam and Amsterdam where being black is normal but also live in places like Leeuwarden where they are viewed as criminals. Let us not forget about the justice system problems we have in the Netherlands where blacks who are in the minority somehow manage to commit the most crimes and spend the longest time in prison. Sound familiar yet? I live in a country that allows people to say "all black people are from the ghetto in public", only to hear that the person is free to say what they would like. I am live in country that thinks that if a black woman is being harassed or even robbed by a black man that they must know each other.

Many consider peace as the only way and that we should not be too forward in our dealings. "Ignore the racists" they say. "They are idiots and a waste of time", I am told. "Don't retaliate because you will make your race look worse." All of this and still I have yet to hear a person say that the slavery rebellions in which black slaves slaughtered their masters was a bad move. How can we then think that in 2016 we should react with peace? How can we say that we should not fight IF we have to? I will not criticize black Americans for standing up for their rights, I will continue to criticize blacks around the world who do not. Progressive news stations like the Young Turks have been telling the truth about our problems as a race for years and yet it has taken the massacres of our brothers and sisters for us to start talking. Racism is not dead, discrimination breathes and slavery merely shapeshifted. Now ask yourself how much longer you are prepared to accept this life and do you want the same life for future generations?

The Netherlands will never carry Jackie Aina's ELF eyeshadow palette and I will never walk into an Etos and find my shade of drugstore foundation unless we do something about it. Unless we start demanding everything that we want. Until we stop working on July 1st (Slavery Emancipation Day) and allowing our children to celebrate Sinterklaas with Zwarte Piet nothing will change. Until you scream no more TOGETHER nothing will happen. At the 2016 BET Awards Jesse Williams called the black race magic it's time for us to tell the world that WE ARE REAL!

XOXO,

IslandGyal

Why I am in LOVE with the Islam

The first word of the Quran, the holy book of the Muslim religion is Iqra (or Ikra). Iqra is to read. The prophet Mohammed told his fellow followers of Allah to read more, study more and to learn more. As you read this post that is my message to you. Iqra.

Muslims are terrorists, pedophiles, fundamentalists and the true oppressors of women. This was what I thought for most of my life. As I grew up I learned that this could not be true for all of them but it had to be so for most of them. In my mind they needed my love in order to be converted to Christianity (Seventh-Day Adventism to be exact) the only true religion. So I started on a quest in hopes that if I helped my Muslim friends and acquaintances find Jesus that I would too. I was very wrong.

The more I learned about the Islam the more I wanted to know. I wanted to understand how I, Urisha an intelligent black woman could not know all of this information. I started to understand that the media helped me out. When it wasn't Geert Wilders a Dutch politician on the TV calling for less Moroccans in the Netherlands, it was ISIS. When ISIS had enough it was some closeted Muslim homosexual shooting up a gay club. The news did not cover the fact that Turkey an Islamic country has been a constant target for terrorists. They did not cover the stories about the Muslims around the world not only praying for people in Syria but also donating their money and time. The truth is rarely told.

While child marriage is a serious problem in the world it is not a norm in the Islam rather the Quran states that children should be married when old enough. "More than half of the girls in Bangladesh, Mali, Mozambique and Niger are married before age 18. In these same countries, more than 75 percent of people live on less than $2 a day." (International Center for Research on Women, 2016) In the western world we have more than enough, we are the more "civilized" yet we allow these horrors to continue. We who know better profit from countries with nothing while never thinking about the products of poverty. Child brides (and grooms) are not an Islamic problem. It is our problem and it continues only because we allow poverty to continue.

On the topic of female oppression it is everyone's fault. In 2015 the Seventh-Day Adventist organization broke my heart by voting against the ordination of female pastors. The Catholic church has no priestesses and in the nonreligious world we are still waiting for equal rights and pay. There is more than enough blame to be passed around in every part of the world.

In January a class was formed at school and suddenly I met a lot of Muslims from all walks of life. As I spent more time with the young women of my class I learned more than I ever thought I could. I met a young Moroccan who wears her hijab with pride as well as her nationality. I learned why one girl chose not to wear a hijab yet she is one of the most devout, kind-hearted and gentle spirits I've ever met. In my quest to find truth I uncovered the horror of what it is like to be black and Muslim. Yet a Somalian young woman chooses to brave the storm or racism, gender discrimination and religious persecution on a daily basis. I met a Kurdish woman who decided to not just understand her religion but that of everyone else. Never did I feel as if sharing my religion made me less. Never did I feel closer to people in the Netherlands than I did with them.

A black Muslima in the western world is one of the strongest women you will ever find.

Remember my quest to find Jesus? Well I found him in the respect of my Muslim students. I found him in the gratitude of their parents. I saw him in the hospitality of my friends and classmates. I saw Jesus in their longsuffering spirits. I found my Savior in the words of the prophet Mohammed in the same way I found Him in the four gospels. I found Him because His message is one that Islam teaches above all. LOVE

There is a discussion in the Muslim world about the true meaning of the word Iqra. Some say it means to read but also recite, I am fine with it being both. Read and understand so that you can recite and teach. This is something that we all need to adopt because there can be no more ignorance in the world. The world is to small and the internet far to large, we have no excuse so close this window and learn. Iqra.

XOXO,


IslandGyal

That's my Face on my ID

I am in a train to Utrecht. It is raining and I am late for school. I'm in no way prepared for this day. With my bare face and uncombed hair I seem to fit right in with the other passengers. They are all having their morning coffee and all anxious to finally get to work and like me they are praying that nothing slows down this train because being delayed is not a good look right now. The conductor announces herself as she comes to check our cards and tickets. My card like the lady sitting next to me in a yellow plastic holder. So if the conductor wants to make sure that I am who her gadget says I am she will have to slide the card up to see my picture. It only takes a second so this should be no problem at all. She takes the lady's card first since she is in the aisle seat, holds it up to the scanner and hands it back to her. She then takes mine slides it up, looks at me and returns it. I immediately notice what has just happened so I keep my eyes on her as she merrily does her job. I look for passengers with card holders and she does not look at their pictures. Finally she leaves the car and I sit and ponder exactly what just happened. I replay the situation over and over in my mind, I remember her cheery voice and her warm smile. She was not a mean person, she seemed friendly so why did she feel the need to double check me? As I sat thinking about it I realized that it is probably because I am black.

The Netherlands is a tolerant country meaning that they manage to get by with knowing that you exist but that's where it ends. My incident is just one of many and they occur more often than they should. When I am faced with a situation that would make any human being lose their cool I am reminded that I cannot because being an angry black woman is not a good look. Often times people tell you to just ignore it or to accept that people are stupid but how do you cope with people who do not know that they are even racist. A person close to me once went to Groningen for his job and a kid no older than three called him a Zwarte Piet (Black Pete). The child's mother was extremely embarrassed and apologized as much as she could but what she did not understand is that her child's ignorance was the problem. Every year thousands of people protest the existence of the holiday character and every year Dutch people claim that is a tradition and tradition is important. What does that really mean though?

Tradition has been an excuse for almost every foolish practice under the sun. "My father, grandfather and great-grandfather were slave owners and I will not give mine up." - Some Southern Idiot
We believe that we have evolved and moved on from such ridiculous thinking and maybe we have. I mean no one really thinks that people should be enslaved but what do we think about race? A recent study showed that when Dutch white parents were asked which race their sons should never bring home a  partner black was on top of the list. If that does not open our eyes I do not know what will. I have yet to meet a person who does not think that my skin is beautiful but the person beneath the skin is what is truly important and what is lost to many.

So coming back to the tolerance level in the Netherlands, the country on a whole is extremely tolerant but is not accepting and will not embrace differences. Basically if you are a Muslim you can be one  just as long as you keep your belief over at your house and do not let me see or hear it and all will be well. That is the Holland we live in and it is time to change that. My face is on my ID but that is all it is, a face. There is one way to know more and that is to close your eyes to my gorgeous color and open your heart.

Why I'm a Feminist!

On November 30th, 1993 Rosabel Blake gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and named her Urisha. That's Me! My dad missed my grand entrance because I postponed the show several times so he gave up and went back to work. For those of you who don't know Sint Eutstatius (Statia) is very small and it takes 5 minutes to get just about anywhere. I entered the world in a room filled with strong women and that was probably the day I became a feminist.

I was raised in the church, LITERALLY. We would go to church on Saturdays (Sabbath), Sunday- and Wednesday evenings. I was in a church club as soon as I was old enough and before that I attended with my parents who were club counselors. When I was about six I told my mom that I did not like the fact that the bible had so many boy stories. My favorite story was the one of Queen Esther because I like queens but also because she saved the day. Years later her story is still my favorite but I now see beyond the shiny crown.

Today we live in a world in which women who embrace their sexuality are called sluts. Girls are taught that they must hold on to their virginity until marriage while men do not have the same rules. Rather, male sexual experience is welcomed in relationships. I realized a long time ago that I would not be a slave to society. The amount of sex I would have would be based on MY beliefs and convictions. They would have nothing to do with what a church or society deemed correct. I decided that Miley Cyrus is a perfect role model for young girls because when you are 23 you are your own woman and if dressing half naked makes you comfortable you should be free to do just that! In a world where nudity is not main stream shows like Game of Thrones highlight the strength of women in characters like Daenerys Targaryen and Cersei Lannister. They embrace their sexuality and emotions and use them to be cunning and rule even better than many men do. Yet on that show we have seen those women naked more often than we should while we have yet to see a penis. The injustice seems to never end and I find myself asking "how is this still a thing?'

While Hillary Clinton is fighting to help and serve her country she is accused by male chauvinist pigs like the orange skinned buffoon Donald J. Trump for playing the "woman card". I am a feminist because I will play the "woman card" everyday of my life until things are equal. Being a man should not make you automatically get a higher salary in the same way that having my period does not get me off of work for a week every month. Feminists are not women (or men) who think that women are the superior race rather we are people who fight for equal rights.

As an enlightened black woman it is almost impossible for me not be a feminist. It is really just one more thing that I have to fight for and in this fight I am not alone. Women's rights are not for one race but for the human race! I will never say that anyone needs to become an activist but I am saying that regardless of your gender you need to start to pay attention. What type of world do you want your daughter, sister, and friend to live in?