On February 26th I tried to post and also on March 13th and yet here we are, April 16th with nothing to show for it all. So I'm writing now, not another lame apology but rather an observation because that is really all I can do right now.
I follow Jackie Aina religiously and I feel as if she's been slacking for while on her YouTube channel. I said that it probably has something to do with her boyfriend Dennis whom she's recently introduced to us but has been in her life for a while. In October I met a wonderful guy that we will call Juan and I can honestly say that this has been the best and healthiest relationship I've ever had. While I've been nurturing my relationship I've been letting a lot go and bringing some things closer to me. My love for makeup has somehow grown more than I ever imagined possible. My choir and the service that we provide has also taken a major place in my life.
I have also let some things go. Someone who I called my friend for many years has disappeared from my life. After years of forgiveness I finally said no to all of the abusive behavior. She is gone and I wish her well but simply not in my life. Also someone who claimed to love me and called me family left for reasons that are unknown to me. Yet somehow I find it hard to hurt. My relationships with other friends have all grown stronger and I have even made new ones. Which leads me to explain why I have not been writing.
I'm happy. I find it extremely difficult to write when I am in a good place. It is the saddest most morbid thing about myself. My poetry, music and writing has always come from a place of pain and despair and now that those emotions are no longer there I find it hard to share my world. Tonight I want to tell you that I am working on it and this is the first step. Stick with me and I hope to give you more content all based on a healthy place, ME.